Have you ever noticed that so much of where we place our attention and focus during our every day lives is on what we need to achieve? Only when we have achieved can we rest. Only when we have achieved can we feel useful and good about ourselves. Only when we have achieved can we say we are successful. Having goals and focusing on what we want to achieve isn’t necessarily a bad thing – as coaches, we are of course, very committed to supporting the people we work with.
However, how we interpret our goals and how we see ourselves in relation to our achievements can sometimes become unhelpful and even unhealthy.
When our goals are non specific and focus on something external – getting the job, losing the weight, being a better person etc. not only are we separating ourselves from our true potential, it can make us feel as though what we are seeking is always just out of reach. Our goals become something unobtainable because we can’t have it, or don’t deserve it. And when we don’t achieve, we feel we haven’t worked hard enough or earned enough or made the right choices to get there. Instead of enabling and empowering ourselves, we create another stick with which to beat ourselves. We end up using our energy in the wrong places and existing on a perpetual hamster wheel of continuous striving for the future, rather than living now and enjoying what we already have.
How can we break these patterns and shift our energy to a place that nurtures and nourishes?
We have to dig deeper and turn our attention inward. Focusing on our thoughts, our feelings, what drives us and becoming more aligned with our core purpose. Understanding ourselves more and using this to help shape how we want to live. How we want to be within ourselves, and in our relationships and interactions with others.
“Inner attunement over outer attainment.” (Dannielle la Porte)
And this is where the 3bs come in. They are like a manifesto for modern life – Be, Believe, Breathe. Providing a foundation to help you tune in to you and set out your intention, reflect on your day or make that much needed commitment to your self-care. Using the 3bs enables us to reframe from punishment to encouragement, especially where our goals are concerned. Meaning we can stop giving ourselves such a hard time and start celebrating the small wins, today.
Check out our Daily 3bs resource to help you get started. And remember, this isn’t about creating another stick to beat yourself with. It’s about using a framework to create a system to support you; to prompt your thinking and your focus if you feel you need it. If you happen to skip a day – that’s ok, you can pick it up again tomorrow!
“Goals are good for setting direction, but systems are best for making progress.” (James Clear.)